The Hope of Faith

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).  So, there are many things you hope for in life.  When you have no real evidence that what you hope for will happen, and when you act with confidence anyway, it must be faith that drives you.  And if you act with hesitancy or doubt, then it must be…?

This came to mind the other day when I faced, once again, the reality that I know so little about what I’m doing.  I’ve been sailing for over 25 years and yet on too many days, I seem to be living into my incompetence.  I’ve not been one to sit back and simply engage the things I comfortably know.   So, I face the reality that many moments on the water are filled with uncertainty.  And this sailing life becomes a test: can I keep figuring out enough to keep going?

The truth is that I know a little about plumbing, but I’m no expert.  My background in electricity goes back to childhood issues of Popular Mechanics but I still can’t explain volts, watts, amps and how a solar panel works.  And when it comes to diesel engines, it has been a slog just to learn a few basics.  When an engine acts up – or doesn’t start – I go into a kind of panic mode.

Now, if you come sailing with me, you won’t see much of this.  I know how to move this boat and safely reach an anchorage.  But underneath it all, there is a sense on some days that faced with the next mechanical problem, I don’t know what I’m doing and can’t answer why I’m doing this version of retirement.

Which leads to a story:  last Tuesday we were getting ready to leave the mooring ball at the marina where we keep Azure Wind.  We had unzipped the main sail bag, stowed the lose items in the salon, mostly in the galley sinks.  We had turned on the electronic instruments – the depth meter, wind speed and direction meter, the chart plotter.  We even had put our bottles of water up in the helm station.  I had checked the engine rooms – oil was good, no water on the floor, belts tight enough.  I started the port (left) engine and it fired right up.  But, when I started the starboard engine, not a peep was heard.  No click, no firing, no water splashing out the side of the boat. 

Oh brother.  Now what? 

So, I could have called the marina office for help but decided that I needed to at least see if I could analyze the problem.  No clicking when an engine starts means that there’s no electricity going to initially turn the engine over.  That’s either a battery problem or the starter switch, or the wires in-between.  When we bought Azure Wind we had to replace the starter switch on the port engine and I had purchased a spare.  Finding the part, I decided to take this little journey one step further.   With Marney quietly cheering me on, handing me a wrench or knife, I leaned over the engine for an hour and…

…got the job done.  Without instructions, and without color-coded wires (four of them).  I guessed right and when the engine fired up, there was a nice sense of satisfaction as in:  Well, it’s only 11 o’clock in the morning but I think I “earned me a beer” (which I deferred until later).  That sort of thing.

Hope is integral to a life of faith.  And I’m pretty sure that faith and hope are about the only ways I can stay on the water (or do anything else – unless you are an expert at something).   And it’s good to have the experience of pushing through that fear of incompetence and have a few successes on the other side.   I’ll still be living into my incompetence, learning some new things, hopefully trusting more and more.

I’m grateful for those sailors and technicians who have taught me much, fixed the big problems (such as old Mr. Richardson replacing the shroud) and in their ways continuing to encourage this journey.

Faith and Hope.  A bit of stress in coping, some new competence, growing confidence.  And then there’s the joy that comes with it all…  the starter switch is still working, both engines are running, the new shroud is holding up the mast which is holding up the sail, and

…we’re on the water!

Fair Winds

and

Calm Seas

Dave

PS...it's that green button!